motorharp | Reading

We spent the weekend with my parents for Easter, and I worked more on the "Christmas Village Ornaments." I finished cross-stitches and half-cross-stitches on the first one and started the second one.

“Christmas Village Ornaments” progress - 4/20/25

I also worked on a knit 18th century pinball. I haven't made one in years, but I saw the book of patterns when I was looking for something else recently and decided I wanted to make another one. I got about three quarters of the way through the first side, but I don't want to try to unroll it to take a picture so you'll just have to wait until the side is done and blocked.

flamingsword

5 Wants + underlying Unmet Needs: ( Read more... )

In shadow work news, either I’m really good at sliding sideways around things that make me uncomfortable, or the people who wrote the Shadow work prompts I’ve been using are way too fucking neurotypical for the way they frame things to be helpful for me. Like, the last prompts implied that I should rate my loved ones on a hierarchy? Which does make me uncomfortable, but for autism-type “my brain doesn’t do that” reasons and not “this is a part of yourself that your past has taught you to disavow” type reasons. I may need to go get a library card and check out some print media on the subject, or just start doing a bunch more thinking about the questions and figuring out whether they can even be helpful or if I need to rewrite them the way I rewrote so much of the cisheteropatriarchy out of the CBT workbook prompts here.

flamingsword

I bought a Wreck This Journal at Half-Price Books on Monday because I am trying to find and dig in to the places that are uncomfortable this year, and I figure this might go along with the Shadow work? We’ll see. So far I’m mostly just having a small amount of fun … despite the intestinal wackness.

Bc I’m also sick today. Stepdad’s hour in the bathroom the other day seems to have been a picked up stomach bug from somewhere, and ofc he’s given it to Mom and I. It’s gross, but not actually much more painful or tired than is normal for me. I canceled today’s plans and need to text some folks about stocking up on ginger tea and electrolytes just in case I was contagious yesterday. Most intestinal things are fairly short of incubation period - even if they have a long period of contagion - so everyone I saw before Friday should be safe. But that still leaves a fair few people I’ve seen.

I am not best pleased by this, but it could be much worse, I suppose. I could have been contagious the first couple days here and gotten immune compromised folx sick. That would suuuuuuck.

Hope y’all are having a less crappy day than me, and that you get a Wreck This Journal if you are a perfectionist or afraid of annotating your books, your possessions, or your life. ✌️

jesse_the_k

Declaration of Interdependence from queerspacepunk (aka emmett)

A tiny snippet from a lovely thread

i want to be asked to come over and help put my friend's kids to bed as casually as they might text their spouse and ask them to pick up milk on the way home

i want to stop and pick up milk for another friend because i know their spouse hates the grocery store

i want to buy fruit that i dont like because it's on special and i know people who do

i want to pass lemons over the fence and to take my neighbours bins out when the forget

i want group chats instead of rideshare apps, calls in the middle of the night because someone's at the hospital, lonely or hungry or both

i want to do the dishes in other people's houses, extra servings wrapped in tinfoil and tea towels so it's still warm when you drop it off, a basket of other people's mending by my couch

i want to be surrounded by reminders that 'imposing' on each other is what we were born to do

https://queerspacepunk.tumblr.com/search/interdependence

Today I learned there are graphic resources—icons and banners—on the Archive of Our Own!

https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Banners%20*a*%20Icons/works

(Sadly AO3’s metatags don’t create RSS feeds, so I can’t add one here.)

New DW community for people who archive information from the web: datahoarders

timeasmymeasure provides resources for would-be archivists without tech skills: https://datahoarders.dreamwidth.org/3299.html

Of particular interest to me:

AO3 Downloader: a life-saver for any person who has thought, "God, I wish I could download all of my bookmarks, but that would take sooo long to do individually." Another Github download which is saved by its thorough instructions!

flamingsword

8. What are the three most important relationships in your life, and how have they influenced your beliefs about who you are?
Do people really do this? Like, I get the Circle of Trust exercise where you evaluate between people you tell certain things to, or have certain people you trust with some things that you don’t entrust to everyone. But like, ranking people as most important? Which of your limbs is most important?

I learn things about myself from all of my friends, and keep or change behaviors accordingly. It doesn’t matter whether they’re “most important” to me or not. I know that

nyyki,

genderjumper, and

ot_atma have commented on my behavior and personality the most often, bc I’m around them fairly often and few topics are off-limits from me. Does that make them more important than other folks in my network? *shakes head in consternation*

9. What kind of people do you attract around you?
I attract all sorts of people, really, but only some are welcome to stay. I don’t tend to keep mooches/users around me anymore because now when they make those early asks for things bigger than our friendship warrants I will comment on how our relationship isn’t there yet. Just having the most simple verbal boundary is enough to discourage 90% of the goddamn vampires out there. Mooches don’t like to hear people tell the truth about them to their faces, so any signal that I’m going to tell them stuff their inflated sense of entitlement can’t deal with means that they will export themselves from my life.

Now I need to learn meta-communication skills about feeling alienated from someone, since that was one of the problematic things about my relationship with Ghost, my relationship with Xenoix, … lots of my relationships, both “romantic” and platonic. It’s not that I “attract” aloof/avoidant people, I think I just don’t know how to call out the withdrawal behaviors or know how to ask for things I need but can’t identify in the moment. I might have to go back to doing the “5 wants 5 unmet needs” journal entries soon. Not that I’m planning on starting new relationships anytime soon, but … it’s kind of not fair for me to ask what other people need so that I get to help them and then not let them know how to offer help in return. It’s lopsided, imbalanced, unsustainable.

Gotta fix that.

flamingsword

atherleisure

I thought I had everything I needed to make a new 1890's corset back in January so I mocked up and started working on the 1890's corset with elastic panels from Norah Waugh's Corsets and Crinolines. I don't think I really made any changes to the pattern. I had to order a busk and some boning tape, but other than that, it was all from my existing supplies.

The pictures are not great. I put it on really quickly and didn't make sure that the lacing gap was even before I took the pictures. I need to unlace the corset and knot the strings at the bottom of the bust so they don't pull too tight there, which is something I nearly always need to do. I also found that you have to be a bit careful about how you pull the bottom part of the lace because the elastic will be happy to stretch and make the gap really narrow at the bottom. I will be curious to see if after wearing it for hours the laces will want to work their way tighter at the bottom and a little looser at the waist. Of course, the top part of the lace will presumably keep it from doing that too badly.

It's coutil with a mix of steel and synthetic whalebone. I've got a bunch of steel bones in a box, but lately I've been using synthetic whalebone for practically everything so I thought I should use up some of the steel bones. I used steel for every channel I had a good size for and filled in the rest with plastic.

1890’s corset with elastic panels - front

1890’s corset with elastic panels - side

1890’s corset with elastic panels - back

flamingsword

When life is darkest
Never listen to your thoughts
They don't know what's true.
NOM 12-19-2024

flamingsword

I had an allergic reaction Tuesday to one of those water flavoring squirt bottles, so I have a healing hive in my mouth … and now on Thursday, I used the hotel’s body wash and my face and underarms itch so bad, omg. I just took a Benadryl, a Claritin, and a Dramamine. I’m about to set my alarm and nap away this reaction for a couple-few hours.

In other news, I get lots of Good Book recced to me, that I can’t read right away, but need to come back to later. This one is Indigiqueer and Two-Spirit fiction: https://arsenalpulp.com/Books/L/Love-after-the-End

I am now starting a To Be Read journal tag so that this stuff can get come back for.

[edit to add: I only slept a couple hours, I am much less itchy, and I feel reasonably human right now.]

flamingsword

After the semi-fiasco that this evening has been, I have reconsidered getting the Bat Memorial Tattoo at this time (or at least from the people who let me wait - largely by myself - for 45 minutes after they said they’d be ready).

But for now I’m going to text

numb3r_5ev3n and some people to see if anyone has plans tomorrow evening, since I won’t need a day to take all the recovery naps.

knitmi

( 20th annual parade of pretty people )

marthawells

If you are planning to watch the Murderbot TV series (starting May 16!) on Apple TV, if you could add it on your watchlist, that would be a big help. It's kind of like pre-ordering a book, it tells the publisher/streaming service that you're there for our show.

There's a link here for US viewers: https://tv.apple.com/us/show/murderbot/umc.cmc.5owrzntj9v1gpg31wshflud03

I'm pretty sure it's different for Apple viewers in other countries.

You can also see the trailer at this link.

flamingsword

• My genetic screening came back clear for all the cancer-causing mutations they know to test for. I will still be doing the anti-cancer/Eat The Rainbow/anti-microplastics stuff that I know how to do, but it is still a weight lifted.

• I got enough homework done despite the Terrible Brain Weasels of PDA and executive dysfunction to feel comfortable traveling to texas with my mom and stepdad. So I’m in DFW and hella fucking tired right now.

• Stepdad is a lot more irritable than he used to be, is following other cars too closely and then braking really hard to not h get in wrecks, and is puzzled that other cars keep getting out of his lane to avoid him despite his … kinda driving like a crazy person. I need to talk to him about that, and I need to look up how to have the conversation where I say “you didn’t talk to your doctor about cognitive testing, and your faculties are noticeably not what they were. We need to do something about this sooner rather than later, bc once it’s bad enough that you notice it, it will be too late for the meds to help very much.” I want to do it, but I don’t know how yet. I need scripts. 😕

• I have the chance to get the Battoo this week, and am tentatively planning that for Wednesday if I can find a way to see

nyyki this week even though she’s kind of a ways away and I have no car.

• I have high hopes to see a bunch of people Thursday, Friday, and Saturday - and get a bunch more hugs, which I desperately need.

atherleisure

I finished a half-circle skirt a couple of months ago and finally wore it this week. It's from Simplicity 8462. The fabric is a stable knit, probably polyester, that used to be a set of curtains in my daughter's bedroom. I think I shortened it when I used the pattern the first time several years ago.

flamingsword

What are the things you wish you were better at?
• remembering
• forgiving myself and others for human foibles
•digesting sugar and adapting recipes to myself.

If you were to write a memoir about your life, what would the chapter titles be?
• All That Formative Crap
• 1988: The Last Year Nobody I Loved Had Died
• 1989
• Screaming Into The Void
• Waking Up To Find The Passage Of Time Goes On Without Me
• Finding A Real Friend
• Kiddo’s First Panic Attack
• Shame Gets Murdered In The Face
• Learning to Leave People
• Marriage?
• A Long Strange Trip
• Divorce …
•(???)

I have no idea what the chapter headers and titles would be until afterwards.

grrlpup

Happy Drop Everything And Read Day to those who celebrate! This is me in the 1970s:
a kid curled up on a sofa, reading a paperback copy of Beverly Cleary's Ramona the Pest

a kid curled up on a sofa, reading a paperback copy of Beverly Cleary's Ramona the Pest

Lately I’ve been working my way through the Klickitcast podcast from a few years ago, in which Phil Gonzales and John McCoy discuss nearly all of Beverly Cleary’s books (so far they’ve skipped the picture books) in publication order. They read some as kids, read some or all to their kids, and are coming fresh to some (the YA novels, in particular). Right now I’m waiting for Socks to come in for me at the library, to reread before listening to that episode.

Other sustained silent reading that has sustained me recently: two picture books that absolutely lived up to their buzz, Paka Paka con la Papa (gave me field-scientist feels, would pair with Lab Girl) and Every Monday Mabel (an observation not original to me: Mabel is in a fandom and her intense feelings about it are shared by many! just not by those immediately around her. Her fandom is the garbage truck). And a Cynthia Kadohata middle-grade novel about international adoption that I somehow missed for ten years, Half a World Away.

This post originates at everyday though not every day. Comments welcome here or there.

atherleisure

I finished the eighteenth page of the "Street Scene" cross-stitch this evening.

I just have two more pages to go. This is really exciting.

jesse_the_k

Yesterday I accompanied MyGuy to his colonoscopy. We entered a small room with a surgical bed, vitals station, the now-ubiquitous bedside computer, and a parking space for me. After he donned the hospital gown, nursing staff connected him to the vitals station, and started a saline drip. They wheeled him off to the procedure while I waited in the cubicle. I distracted myself with some Sherlock fanfic.

Suddenly the door was opening. An unfamiliar nurse was wheeling a complete stranger backwards into the space—I asked should I remove my husband’s clothing if someone else was using the room. She said, “Of course not, he will be putting them back on in a few minutes.” Seeing my puzzled face, she said, “Don’t you recognize him?” I was still stunned—who were these people? She swung the bed around so I could see his eyes. The estranged swirl of jamais vu vanished, and I saw his lovely face, his smile enhanced by recent doses of fentanyl and midazolam.

All went well, and 45 minutes later we were in the taxi back home. I’d read of the vu triplets—presque, déjà, jamais—in Catch-22 when I was a teenager, but this was my first experience of jamais vu.

Very disconcerting—have you experienced this?

usuallyhats

The Crown of Dalemark - Diana Wynne Jones
Speculative Whiteness: Science Fiction and the Alt-Right - Jordan S. Carroll
City of Bones - Martha Wells
Elephants Can Remember - Agatha Christie
The Just City - Jo Walton
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
Lolly Willowes - Sylvia Townsend Warner
Critical Role: The Mighty Nein Origins: Caduceus Clay
The Labyrinth's Archivist - Day Al-Mohamed

The Scholar and the Last Faerie Door - HG Parry
Star Trek: Lower Decks - Warp Your Own Way
Kindling - Traci Chee
Track Changes: Selected Reviews - Abigail Nussbaum
King of Dead Things - Nevin Holness
The Nightward - RSA Garcia
The Orb of Cairado - Katherine Addison
The Sea Eternal - Emery Robin
Water Logic - Laurie J Marks

City of Bones (three stars), Elephants Can Remember (three stars), The Scholar and the Last Faerie Door (four stars), King of Dead Things (four stars), The Orb of Cairado (four stars)

City of Bones
This definitely reads like an early work - there's some stuff around sex and relationships in particular that is not amazing - but it's still a solidly enjoyable read. It's clear that Wells hasn't yet reached the heights that she's going to, but there's still some great characterisation and worldbuilding and some really solid prose. I liked it a lot and will be picking up the other early works that Tor are reissuing.

(content notes: some non-explicit sex scenes that aren't definitively assault but also aren't definitively not)

Elephants Can Remember
The premise of this one was great: older lady helps Poirot solve a fifteen year old case by nosing around talking to people, on the grounds that eventually the patchwork of what they remember will add up to something Significant. The execution was a bit lacklustre, though; I'd love to read something with a similar premise but more spark. (Also extremely wild to me to read a Poirot set in the seventies; while I've definitely read at least one more from that decade, as well as one from the sixties, it was when I was young enough not to register when they were set. (I had a big Poirot phase as a child, for reasons I do not entirely understand.))

The Scholar and the Last Faerie Door
I'm not hugely familiar with dark academia as a genre, but I know enough to know this was using a lot of familiar tropes. Which is absolutely fine because it really nailed the execution: it's a really satisfying read because of how well constructed it is. All the character work is great, it knows what it wants to do with its themes, the worldbuilding hangs together nicely. I enjoyed it a whole lot.

King of Dead Things
YA urban fantasy about four black teenagers doing magic in London, and if any of that sounds appealing to you, you should get it because it's great. I feel like there were a few first-book type wobbles here and there, but overall I liked it a whole lot and am excited to read more in the series.

(content note: the parent of one character has memory loss, analogous to but not Alzheimer's)

The Orb of Cairado
Novella set just after The Goblin Emperor; the protagonist is the best friend of the Wisdom of Choharo's pilot. This definitely feels at times like a novel with the complications taken out, rather than a true novella, and there were definitely things I wanted more development of, but Addison's a good enough writer that it's still a fun read, and I absolutely loved the ending.

marthawells

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEioDeOiqEs&t=1s

And there's this bit from Alexander Skarsgard about playing the character:

https://www.empireonline.com/tv/news/murderbot-relatable-character-alexander-skarsgard-exclusive/

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motorharp

March 2025

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Page generated 23 Apr 2025 09:23 am

A month of months

Reading

More Ornament Progress

5 Wants + Shadow work metacognition

Illness and wrecking this journal

boost: Declaration of Interdependence & 2 AO3 Resources

Shadow work post

To Read List

1890's Corset

When you see a poem, post a poem:

Unfortunate Update

No Battoo for me

all the prettiness 20

Murderbot on TV

Life stuff

New Skirt

Happenstance

D.E.A.R.

Page 18

Evidently, this was jamais vu

Books and comics read in February and March 2025

And lo, a trailer did drop

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March 2025

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